MH370: Lessons to Learn

This will probably be the biggest news this year although it's still March. No need for me to elaborate further on what happened on that fateful day, 8th March 2014 as this been covered daily since then. You are probably staying in Timbuktu if you've not heard of this. Dammit, there's even a Wikipedia page on it already.

I refrained from posting anything about this earlier for there are too many unconfirmed, wild rumours pertaining the incident to the flight MH370 and not wanting to join the bandwagons of self-appointed military experts, conspiracy theorists & aircraft investigators. On the cause of the disappearance, you have stories from alien abductions to pilot suicides. On its whereabouts, they even said the plane landed on the moon. Yes, u read me, landed on the moon !!!! And of course, the unrelevant news of the pilots' & passengers' private lives. Don't even mention the incompetencies of the related authorities in handling this crisis. Don't quote me. Irregardless of the outcome of this crisis, there's few lessons to be learned on crisis management, hard knock style by everyone.

LEADERSHIP

(1) Your true leadership character will be revealed during time of crisis. Delegation is one thing but people will be able to read your body language / actions if your are plainly avoiding or not. Ensured to be seen by your stakeholders (in this case your country citizens) during crucial time
(2) Speak if you're required to so. Silence is not golden each time as during time of crisis, people expect to hear voice from the highest authority for comforting reasons etc.
(3) The crisis should be made the main priority & any other unnecessary social appointments such as visits to the market, launching of new store etc should be cancelled or to get representative to attend instead.
(4) Give instructions from the start and get the tasks done immediately.

PUBLIC SPEAKING

(1) Have only ONE single voice (the most 2 people) of who knows what's going on and not having many unrelated people talking on different tunes/directions
(2) Be adaptable to the situation when facing the public and present yourself accordingly. Laugh when u need to and don't, if it doesn't requires you to do so.
(3) Get the concrete facts right before presenting it to the public. Providing assumptions or giving unimportant information will cause more frustrations.
(4) Being protective of your own is understandable but being defensive is the opposite. Know the differences of both and project yourselves accordingly with your words & statements
(5) Your words & tones carry different messages. Enrich your vocabs and brush off your spoken language to ensure you say the right words with the right tone, at the right time
(6) If you don't know what to talk, don't talk. Don't make yourself looked like a bloody fool when u said the wrong stuff at the wrong time

What's my stand up till today? Announcing of the plane "ended" in Indian ocean based on "conclusion from analysis" done is not a convincing answer to give to the families of 239 passengers on board. Specific explanation on how do you make the conclusion and giving concrete evidences are required here. We are facing international medias here and not any half-past-six journalists who will willingly accept all the answers given. It's mentally torturing really. Instinct tells us it has crashed but we don't have the proof up till today to substantiate the claim. This explains exactly, why I didn't give out any condolences or obituary messages till today.

One thing that hurts me individually on how we Malaysians manage this situation of getting the bad publicity from overseas people and medias. And here, we have people wanting to denounce their Malaysian citizenship. As much as we are frustrated on the whole scenario, we must not let our emotions cloud our rational minds and be confused on the differences between government and country. Mark Twain said "Loyalty to the country always, loyalty to the government, when its deserve it". We may be frustrated with the current government incompetencies in dealing with the MH370 crisis but this shouldn't shake our loyalty and love to the country. Everyone around the world may be cursing us like hell now but this does not mean we should be embarrassed to call ourselves Malaysians. Perception by others is created by humans and it can be changed too by you and me. We can't stop others from condemning us, which is why we should reciprocate by educating the unawares. Otherwise, if we, Malaysians don't do it, then who will? Protect our nation if you need to and let Almighty God deals with the uncontrollable factors.

Being A Sibling to the Disabled

We've heard of experience stories from parents of the deaf, children of deaf adults (CODAs) & educator for the deaf. However, there's not many experience stories shared by sibling of the deaf. I'm still trying to figure it out too & sharing bits of my own personal experiences here.

I was six years old when my sister Daphne was born deaf. When my sister was 2-3 years old, my brother & I were brought to YMCA Brickfields to attend a 1 hour sign language crash course where we learned to sign alphabets & numbers. Later in the day, Dad came & told both of us "You cannot talk to Mei Mei (our sister), she can't understand you. Now, both of you must learn sign language to communicate with her". Still blurred on the reason he said so, I obliged. Naturally, our whole family accept Daphne's deafness & learnt sign language thru daily communication and participation in deaf-related activities organized by YMCA.



Group photo with some of the deaf kids in Kuala Selangor, I think

Group photo in Penang, one of many YMCA-organized family trips

There's a Malay saying "Kalau hendak melentur buluh, biarlah dari rebungnya" which means "It's better to bend a willow when it was young". This is one proverb which makes me felt passionate when helping to train the youths when I was leading a Mahikari Youth (Tai) group then. Being single, I may not be qualified to say this but a kid must be properly taught the basics of life when he/she is young. The youth spiritual & mental foundation must be strengthen while they're young & this also applies to the sibling of the deaf & even to other people with different disabilities. The sibling of the disabled must be taught by the parents to learn to accept the disabled & live with it. This is one important area I felt, was neglected by some parents of the disabled. Otherwise, when the parents are no longer around, who will be next person willing to take care of the disabled person, say a Down Syndrome person?

When I say a kid accepting his/her sibling's disabilities, it means accepting it with open heart and willing to make the sibling's disabilities a part of family life. You can really see their level of acceptance towards their disabled sibling, judging from their body language & behaviours. Is the kid willing to learn sign language to communicate with his/her deaf sibling? Is the kid willing to accompany & help out his/her Down syndrome sibling in daily chores? Is the kid willing to tell other friends that he/she has a disabled sibling? I've personally seen some teens did not willingly accept their disabled sibling & given choice, chose to stay away from the disabled sibling as much as possible. It's probably not cool to have a disabled sibling or perhaps it's a burden to have the disabled sibling around.

Many parents have the thoughts that they do not need to tell too much to the able kids on issues of having disabled kid in the family & how the able kids should deal with it. My say? Not being diplomatic but it depends on situation really.  Basic explanation given by parents for not giving reasons for way of treating their child is that the child is too young & not matured enough to understand the complexity of the situation. I do felt its okay for parents to be more open. Kids are intelligent nowadays to understand it really. The kids could sense it thru observations & your treatment towards them. Seeing the parents treating the disabled kid better creates jealousy & as a result, resulting in cold treatment towards the disabled kid.

Forging great sibling relationship, especially if one of the siblings (in some cases, there are more than one in a single family unit) is about starting it young. Give all the children (able & disabled) memorable childhood. U can bring the children round the world or buy them the most expensive toy in town, but giving memorable childhood to the kids isn't about providing materials. A child not necessarily will enjoy a great childhood in a rich family. It's about treating all kids (able & disabled) fairly , ensuring them to live in an environment, rich with love & care and getting them enjoying each other company. When the kids have the "siblinghood" in them, you don't need to be worry about them taking care of each other when you're not around anymore.


The Eng's
 



Now, adding a sister-in-law & a brother-in-law (deaf) into the group

 

I had & thoroughly enjoyed my childhood & clearly remember the wonderful moments till today. This is why I'm thankful to my parents for exposing my brother & I to the world of deafness at young age, in order to make us accept our sister's deafness as part of our life. Boy, I can still clearly remember Dad's constant reminding words to us, on accepting our deaf sister till today. Not bragging but I have no qualms on telling others that I have a deaf sister. In fact, this was made part of the topics discussed when dating..:P